"It really is an effort thing." Sam says a lot of people wish they had more or deeper friends but won't actually take the steps — putting in the time, organizing the catch-ups again, talking to people on a deeper level.
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He points to "conversational chemistry" — a concept from a TikTok he watched — about connecting more deeply than just "fact collecting." Knowing someone's age, career and where they live tells you nothing on the deeper level needed to build a friendship; structuring a conversation so the other person can speak and you draw more out of them is how you actually get to know someone. He notes it gets harder as you move into your 20s and people take different paths — relationships, relocations — so it takes concerted effort to check in, touch base, organize catch-ups and stay in touch.