A founder answers

What's Sam's advice on choosing a long-term partner?

Make a list of your non-negotiables — on a values-driven level, based on the life you want and the type of partner who fits it, not surface traits like being tall or attractive. After being single for five or six years, Sam wrote down a list of eight things and two weeks later matched with his now-fiancé on Hinge.

The full answer

SR
Sam Richardson · Butter
EP 13 · Founder, Butter
Show notes ↗

Make a list of your non-negotiables — on a values-driven level, based on the life you want and the type of partner who fits it, not surface traits like being tall or attractive. After being single for five or six years, Sam wrote down a list of eight things and two weeks later matched with his now-fiancé on Hinge.

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He didn't find that list again until about six months into dating; when he looked at it, it was his partner "to a tee." He cautions that getting there takes time and meeting a lot of different types of people — you can get set on a type you think you want before you've actually experienced enough to know. His advice: write the list and stick to it. He half-jokes it sounds like TikTok manifestation, but frames it as clarity — being able to articulate what you actually want.